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Group 1
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4 well-written lines with good contrasts in melody and rhythm
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Explore rearranging the order of your lines
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Consider changing dynamics e.g. 'devices fading gradually' (word painting!)
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Think about how to use different articulation e.g. staccato when repeating the sound 'ch ch ch'
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Group 2
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2 strong lines to start this verse
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Could the next 2 lines explore a different online game? Or something about the technology that is used to play these games?
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Explore different melodies/tunes for the next 2 lines, e.g. singing up or down a scale instead of repeating the same pitch
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Composition Group Feedback on Verses
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Group 3
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2 strong lines to start this verse
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Could the next 2 lines explore other sounds that you can hear in the house? Do you see anything on this journey?
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Could you use word painting to echo any words, e.g. 'hallway, hallway'?
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Group 4
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Great use of both melody and spoken word
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When repeating words ('Hey Google') could you explore different ways to perform the second time? E.g. change the dynamics (loud/soft) or texture (solo voice first, then others join in the repeat?)
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Could you add some percussive sounds to the spoken word part of your verse? ('boop, boop') e.g. finger clicks or taps